(Your POV)
It’s like liking a wine. A pure, alluring, irritating, mindless and lovely glass of wine. You get in the habit of one- not one like a drug , but still one to take you pretty over the edge. It’s tasty, mindless and your lost like a love lost fool. You get over it eventually, like you would with a past love or crush. What you need, what you want and always did was… water. The only thing that can cure you, ease you and give your mind relief is a glass of water. Because water is pure, healthy. It does not deceive your mind like other juices and illustrious things. It lets your mind breathe, think and live- it lets
I'm not allowed to leave, right.
I just have to suck it in and go on…
As I promised to.
I can hold onto you-
But I'm not allowed to hide behind you, right.
I just have to stare, till
I’ve learned not to go blind.
I have to see, to fear, to learn, to go-
All the time still holding you,
But never turning to go.
Can I be sorry?
Can I be sad,
For the fact I did this again?
I know I did it before… and before,
But is it alright… to hope?
To feel ashamed
And hope against my better self,
That I won’t do it again?
Does it seem like a childish resolve?
Or an idiot’s glibber…
What I say right now?
What would you feel...
If you feel your body attached to a hundred strings,
And there’s someone, a person,
Who keeps pulling and stretching
And manipulating them,
To bring yourself around to the same object.
What would you feel then?
Happy, frustrated, resigned
Or simply rebellious.
I’m a fool,
A fool servant.
So why do you keep me?
Why not disdain?
Why not throw away?
I’m a fool,
Too fooled to be tested,
Too obvious to take my own life, So why do You keep on keeping and testing?
I can’t pay myself,
My heart to feel good.
I can’t give charity hundred times over
To heal my ego’s pride.
I cannot pretend to eat fish,
While tasting meat.
I cannot forgive myself
After all I've done.
I wonder if this is annoying,
My nerves,
The worry and stuff.
I'd discard it all, like a cloak
I have no use for, in warm weather.
Everyone's got cloaks,
Like masks for different weathers.
I wonder if they even know when they're on,
And when the wind wisps them off afar.
I'm bored I suppose to contemplate the minds of others.
For others have too many emotions to record.
Don’t want to be this way,
Don’t want the fate to control my reins,
Don’t want that dismal, alluring
faceless lover to be my companion.
Oh despairing, soulless soul,
Choose another one as your prey.
Do not let me be the stranger of which you catch tears.
Let me be …
Why can’t you let us breathe, live,
Without testing us to our hearts demise.
What if we fail,
What if we get lost
And cannot find our way back to our world.
What if in this sport,
We get trapped in our own strings?...
What then my playing friend...
Will you hand back my strings to my broken self?
I know we're mere nothings, mere play things
Or ig
Running, running, running…
Running till I’ve scaled all earth,
Running and diving till I’ve stepped on the floor of the deepest sea.
But still, I’ll still be thirsty in ocean,
Amongst a banquet containing all world’s feast,
I’ll be the only one amongst the feasters still hungry.
If I don’t give myself a respite,
Admonish myself and quench my thirst.
I’ll likely try to kill myself,
Several times for ruining my own self.
We’re both so same,
Yet so far away.
Both residing on opposite the ends of the earth,
Both walking down to the same place,
With different objects at hand.
If I say this you’d laugh,
Because we’re just way to different at face.
Brothers in fate,
One sits on customed thrones
And the other sits at his heel
On a wooden high chair.