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About Varied / Hobbyist BismaFemale/Pakistan Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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(Your POV)
It’s like liking a wine. A pure,  alluring, irritating, mindless and lovely glass of wine. You get in the habit of one- not one like a drug , but still one to take you pretty over the edge. It’s tasty, mindless and your lost like a love lost fool. You get over it eventually, like you would with a past love or crush. What you need, what you want and always did was… water. The only thing that can cure you, ease you and give your mind relief is a glass of water. Because water is pure, healthy. It does not deceive your mind like other juices and illustrious things. It lets your mind breathe, think and live- it lets it live.
(My POV)
But my hand does not sway towards water. On the bartender’s bench, my hand grabs the slightly green translucent drink beside it- the one which reminds of an apple and had glimpses of light playing through it.
I drink it and then reach for a pink, then cherry and then the golden wine one. I keep reaching , k
:icondoldydo:doldydo 2 3
I'm not allowed to leave, right.
I just have to suck it in and go on…
As I promised to.
I can hold onto you-
But I'm not allowed to hide behind you, right.
I just have to stare, till
I’ve learned not to go blind.
I have to see, to fear, to learn, to go-
All the time still holding you,
But never turning to go.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 2 3
Childish resolve
Can I be sorry?
Can I be sad,
For the fact I did this again?
I know I did it before… and before,
But is it alright… to hope?
To feel ashamed
And hope against my better self,
That I won’t do it again?
Does it seem like a childish resolve?
Or an idiot’s glibber…
What I say right now?
:icondoldydo:doldydo 4 0
What would you feel...
If you feel your body attached to a hundred strings,
And there’s someone, a person,
Who keeps pulling and stretching
And manipulating them,
To bring yourself around to the same object.
What would you feel then?
Happy, frustrated, resigned
Or simply rebellious.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 3 4
only a fool...
I’m a fool,
A fool servant.
So why do you keep me?
Why not disdain?
Why not throw away?
I’m a fool,
Too fooled to be tested,
Too obvious to take my own life,
So why do You keep on keeping and testing?
:icondoldydo:doldydo 2 6
Cannot pretend
I can’t pay myself,
My heart to feel good.
I can’t give charity hundred times over
To heal my ego’s pride.
I cannot pretend to eat fish,
While tasting meat.
I cannot forgive myself
After all I've done.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 3 3
I wonder if this is annoying,
My nerves,
The worry and stuff.
I'd discard it all, like a cloak
I have no use for, in warm weather.
Everyone's got cloaks,
Like masks for different weathers.
I wonder if they even know when they're on,
And when the wind wisps them off afar.
I'm bored I suppose to contemplate the minds of others.
For others have too many emotions to record.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 0 0
Dear Fate
Don’t want to be this way,
Don’t want the fate to control my reins,
Don’t want that dismal, alluring
faceless lover to be my companion.
Oh despairing, soulless soul,
Choose another one as your prey.
Do not let me be the stranger of which you catch tears.
Let me be …
Why can’t you let us breathe, live,
Without testing us to our hearts demise.
What if we fail,
What if we get lost
And cannot find our way back to our world.
What if in this sport,
We get trapped in our own strings?...
What then my playing friend...
Will you hand back my strings to my broken self?
I know we're mere nothings, mere play things
Or ignorant fireflies trying to find our way in this dark world.
But even if we do not know, cannot see fate,
Fate why even then with generations of humans before you,
With other things to occupy your attention:
Do you invest so much in ourselves?
Why is it everyone is tested in so many things.
We’re tested to our hearts and souls endurance,
But when
:icondoldydo:doldydo 3 0
Self (Running)
Running, running, running…
Running till I’ve scaled all earth,
Running and diving till I’ve stepped on the floor of the deepest sea.
But still, I’ll still be thirsty in ocean,
Amongst a banquet containing all world’s feast,
I’ll be the only one amongst the feasters still hungry.
If I don’t give myself a respite,
Admonish myself and quench my thirst.
I’ll likely try to kill myself,
Several times for ruining my own self.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 3 0
Brothers far away
We’re both so same,
Yet so far away.
Both residing on opposite the ends of the earth,
Both walking down to the same place,
With different objects at hand.
If I say this you’d laugh,
Because we’re just way to different at face.
Brothers in fate,
One sits on customed thrones
And the other sits at his heel
On a wooden high chair.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 2 0
Not allowed to leave?
Am I not allowed to leave?
Have I stepped in too deep?
If I try to go back…
Will it really be no good?
My vision’s changed,
My heart is changing
And I cannot hurt myself any longer,
By following roses that hurt me like thorns.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 0 2
A Habit
I did it again,
As I did yesterday
And the pattern that repeats itself begins again.
It turns fresh from a decaying leaf.
It’s a phenomenon I don’t intercept, though I should’ve seen.
I do not know why it happens,
This cycle of ambiguity, confusion and annoyance.
I have to let it go,
Like all things, as such meant to be.
It doesn't make sense,
This habit of mine.
It’s an art, I'm honestly surprised,
Has survived for such a long time in my life.
Could it be I'm weak,
To let such a decaying thing last?
Let me put it out of its misery and let it be left to those who know it.
It has no use, no purpose that I can identify.
It comes as a temporary stance, as a replacement to others,
That comes when it’s called and then sneaks back to its cave.
It’s annoying this habit is-
I wonder when it’ll finally die to let me have peaceful rest from one of this world’s things.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 1 1
Till my last steps
Can I say goodbye?
For a last time-
And forget you all my lifetime?
No I cannot, I'm not allowed
To forget.
I have to bear, regret, understand
And maintain.
Walk until my road ends,
With a heart which grows heavier, more so
With all the steps I take on a never-resting road.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 1 4
Give Up
So you gave up, when you thought it would all end?
So what if you give up now?
What’ll change, what’ll end...
It’ll all be the same-
Except you’ll go lower.
Like someone trying to force oneself:
Trying to barge, bash and crush into a door
That leads to an abyss behind end,
Into an oblivion that humans dream of.
Except, that oblivion doesn’t exist,
It’s something humans,
Build with motion, movement and turmoil emotions,
Can’t feel. Can’t have, don’t understand.
You can’t go lower-
Because every time you do:
You fight it,
You fight yourself and you hate yourself.
Isn’t it a pity going against one’s own heart, own body.
You’re a miserly, odd one I suppose,
Then again you’re simply human I suppose.
Still living aren’t you?
Well what are you living for?-
Except for some hope, dream or something else.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 3 9
Why do you?
Why do you do this to…
Can’t you let it go?
You’re gonna lose it,
If not today, then tomorrow...
Or maybe after an eternity.
It’s psychotic, annoying…
And irritating.
But mostly… it’s confusing-
Why do you? Why do you
Do this to yourself?
Do you like moving at a high speed roller coaster ride,
With fluctuations in heart-
From zero to ninety to one-eighty degrees?
Getting your heart handled, meddled with
And broken so many times,
Tell me what’s so good in this tale?
Can’t you let it go?
And hold on to one?
And let your heart rest and understand life in other ends?
Or is it simply a tale I cannot understand?
:icondoldydo:doldydo 6 5
Can I truly leave...?
       Can I truly leave...?
If I left
Will you promise not to drag me back again?
If I left
Can I truly leave?-
No scars, no trial and shadows adorning my back?
I’m afraid to leave…
Afraid of the outside world.
I'm afraid,
Like a prisoner looking out of his window for soo long,
And suddenly realizing, he has the will to leave.
:icondoldydo:doldydo 1 2


Sweet Escape by Angie-AgnieszkaB Sweet Escape :iconangie-agnieszkab:Angie-AgnieszkaB 32 25
The Long Road
Only I know where I've been,

long roads spanning the ages,
they held me like cages,
times of gore, 
times with joy,
times of sages.

Where to roam from the here and now is an open question,
open to my suggestion,
jail keeper broke my every shackle,
broke when I tackled.

There is no destiny to flee,
no looming impending doom seeping like cheap perfume,
I've grown wise in my old old age,
the map to every trap,
erase any cage,
again I am the sage.
:iconiamdreamfire:IamDreamfire 8 0
I can't go to sleep
At night.
So many thoughts
Enfold my mind.
I just want them to go away-
Give me space to breathe,
But take your time to leave.
It's my imagination;.
The rainbow of my dreams
I hold onto black memories,
Nothing else,
I don't have anything else.
But it's fading
Along with my sanity.
Everything's going to start when I go.
Everyone's going to move when I freeze.
It's how life works,
It's how they sleep at night.
But how?
It's not right.
So when I close my eyes tonight,
Tell me all the things I didn't know.
Let the fire flicker once more,
Ablaze in the fireplace.
And we can open the door.
Once more...
Let me soak in the yellow rays,
Of the sun hanging overhead.
Let me breathe in all my passions and dreams,
Let reality be even more than it seems.
So when I try to sleep at night,
Wake me up, and take your
Time to leave, time to leave.
And when I try to cry tonight
Let me know it'll be alright
I need to dream,
Please let me dream
:iconxxatouchofrostxx:xxatouchofrostxx 4 2
What Could Be in Store?
She got strong visuals,
not seeing only what was there but to notice what was missing,
she saw couples side by side but saw no one really kissing,
she saw mothers speak to young ones,
softness in their tone there at birth now long gone.

There were kids on the streets,
the tough guys, 
so roughed up they couldn't even weep,
now they just despise,
dismissed was the luxury of moisture from their eyes.

Omitted feelings,
omitted caring,
squashed away so never daring,
faded and there in the gaps,
all the holes lost and things missing perhaps.

She peered through the crevices one side to the next,
she decided the partings made way for the sun to peek through,
the space empty above the baby stem was where the rose eventually grew to,
the length yet to travel was the goal we were yet to unravel.

She felt her o
:iconiamdreamfire:IamDreamfire 9 0
Be Still
Be still my beating heart,
Don't be mean to thy body,
Stop pounding against my chest,
Stop making it hard to breath.
Be still my aching mind,
Don't be mean to thy body,
Stop thy aching,
Stop thee thinking that i have.
Be still my wounded body,
Don't be mean to thee,
Stop thy hurting,
Stop thy cutting.
Thee that reads,
Stop thy tonight.
The pain goes away,
Just like every night has thy day.
:icona-writer-uses-art:A-Writer-Uses-Art 5 4
chapals (foot wear) by ishaansharma456 chapals (foot wear) :iconishaansharma456:ishaansharma456 9 2
Can I be Beauty?
Can I capture an essence of those things around me,
make them good to me,
make them beauty?

Could I dissolve where pain and hurt hit,
where aches tended to be,
make myself empathy?

Could I immerse in murky waters,
all salty brine to any reception,
only to make beautiful perception?

Am I touched by the tenderness of those I've known,
ones I'll come to know,
enough to have beauty show?

Can I melt hatred,
ease suffering of ridicule and betrayal,
calm emotion incensed,
make space to allow beauty's presence?

Can I grasp loyalty as an honour,
show others what is now felt,
perhaps ever widening,
with beauty replace the pelt?
:iconiamdreamfire:IamDreamfire 12 0
Trapped. by Arehtism Trapped. :iconarehtism:Arehtism 85 11 World by sitres World :iconsitres:sitres 9 0
Mismatched Hearts
A tear slips from her eye,
Silver and wistful.
I yearn for the words of comfort,
But am saddened to find none.
Yet I wipe it quickly
Using one lone fingertip
And she looks up, her mouth asking a question,
A question that makes me smile not for happiness
For the familiar grief clutched its way at my soul,
For the familiar presence of nothingness.
"You too?"
For a moment I do not speak.
There are no words to describe…
The remorse I am feeling….
So I just nod and attempt with my
Lacking words.
Then I pause.
I see what I confirm to be confusion dance briefly across her eyes,
Only to fade to black…
Or was it white? I couldn't tell.
"Pardon me?"
I shake my head with a scolding sort of patience.
"Silly me.
You don't know, do you?
The places I have been.
The places  have seen.
The places I know.
The place I finally found…"
At this I smile.
"The place which I belonged."
I proceed to look at her w
:iconxxatouchofrostxx:xxatouchofrostxx 4 23
My Soul
My Heart
The Pain
I'm Gone
:iconravynkatt:ravynkatt 9 16
modern gaang by viria13 modern gaang :iconviria13:viria13 38,626 2,632 Harry Potter Spells Infographic by SeanChunSeianLiew Harry Potter Spells Infographic :iconseanchunseianliew:SeanChunSeianLiew 4,547 210




Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Hey! How are you doing and welcome to my page.
I'm basicly here cuz I like a lot of literature and art pieces here, so I needed to make an account to keep track of them. I also draw and write a little.I'll be posting that too iA in some time.
As a person Im a normal cool one, like any other and I hope to see you around.


:icona-writer-uses-art: :icon22hussars: :iconcloudnumber8: :iconstarlitnova: :iconchiharusmoon: :iconxxatouchofrostxx: :iconiamdreamfire:


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IamDreamfire Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks for the faves!
IamDreamfire Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks for the fave
doldydo Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :)
CloudNumber8 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013   General Artist
thanks for the watch :)
doldydo Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome - I like your stuff :nod:
kylebjart Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the Watch! :D
doldydo Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome- your art's amazing :nod: :)
xxatouchofrostxx Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Thanks a bunch for the llama badge! :XD: :happybounce: :iconsuperw00tplz:

:iconthankyouplz: & I hope you :iconhave-anicedayplz: :iconbunnyglompplz:

doldydo Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome:overlyenthusiasticgreeting: :D (Big Grin) 
l0gin3015 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
I like what I'm seeing in your gallery. Just wanted to let you know.
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